The loss of Matthew was so devastating for me and John. It nearly crushed me, I was so heartbroken.
I was blessed to have my heart and spirit heal through the blessings of the Lord. It took me about one year to learn that I could go on and live the happy life Heavenly Father wanted me to live. I knew that Matthew would want me to do the same.
I also prayed and prayed to be given the blessing of another baby in our family. It took many years of patience. I remember the distinct feeling that this desire would be fulfilled, but I didn't know when or how long I would need to wait.
I realized in 2012 that I needed to get my health in order if I really wanted this great blessing to be fulfilled. Many miracles and a move to another state (and back) helped us find the right answers for me.
Once I had my heart and physical body in order, I also knew my husband's heart would need to be in the right place so we could bring a baby into this world. So, I prayed for John.
His answers came in the form of dreams. I know for sure that he had two separate dreams where he was holding a beautiful baby girl. In his dreams, he was at a family party and he was looking at this little girl in his arms and wondering who she belonged to.
After he had some time to ponder the dreams, he felt that this little girl was meant for us. Imagine our surprise when we went to have a 14 week ultrasound last November and found that not only were we going to be blessed with a daughter, but with a son as well!
I do not understand all of His ways, but I do know that He loves us and wants to bless us. God is good, kind, and merciful. I know this as I type this out in the middle of the night while holding the baby daughter John saw in his dreams. We are so happy and blessed, I just wanted you all to know!
"I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13